English Mis-Usage:
6AM in the Morning
"Alot" as one word. "Awhile" or "everyday" misused as one
word. It's correct as one word as an adverb: "awhile later,"
"everyday housewife," but not as an adjective or noun: "after awhile"
should be "after a while."
Alright vs all right.
Ampi-theater
And/Or... "or" suffices, even per Black's Law Dictionary.
"Axing" someone ("I axed him who my baby daddy.")
As it were...
Assessorize or assessories
"Ates" words: Cohabitate, Conversate, Orientate, Coronate
Atha-lete
Artha-ritis
As it were...
On a daily basis vs "every day." Also: "At that Point in Time" instead of "Then."
"Between you and I" or "For my wife and I"
Birthing or birthed
New verb: To "career" something
The event that "changed history." History is already established;
you can only change the present. Something CAN change the COURSE of
history as it becomes the past.
"Closure..." every bad event must have it, after "Coming Together." After that comes... "The Healing."
Comfortability (comfort)
Compare Apples to Oranges/Apples (you can compare anything to anything)
Confusing "cement" with "concrete." Cement is the powder, concrete is the hard stuff.
Conventional Wisdom (oxymoron)
Conversate with...
Could care less (vs couldn't)
Saying "Council" for "consul"
Making new verbs from nouns, such as: "I credentialed him," "The artifact was curated there," or, "We brainstormed that."
"A Criteria" or even "these criterias"
"These" Data, datum, datums
Differentiating
Dis-orientated
Dissociate vs Disassociate
Dissect pronounced "die-sect" instead of "dis-sect"
"Diversity" used at least 20 times in every political document.
Dove vs Dived
Drownded
Drunk vs Drunken Driver
DV Video
DVD Disk or CD Disk
Essentric for eccentric
Ek-setera
Electrocute to mean "shocked." Electrocution means death by electric shock. Or, "Suffocated to death."
ER Room
Expresso vs Espresso
Extra words thrown in to sound scientific or authoritative.
E.g: Thunderstorm Event, or Cleaning System ("detergent")
Extreme - overused. When everything is "extreme," nothing is.
"Flexible Standards" - Bill Clinton's oxymoron
The ship was floundering (vs Foundering)
Flustrating or Fluster-ating vs frustrating
From the Git-go or get-go
For the Chilllldren!
Gay Pride is an oxymoron... if you had pride, you wouldn't need a parade!
Giving 110%
GPS System
Grow the business
Hanged vs Hung
He's a masseuse (masseur)
He's good people, or... an animal that "thinks he's people"
The Heeeealllling! After every bad event.
Healthy vs Healthful food.
Homo-ge-ne-ous vs Homogenous
Hot Water Heater... if it's hot, it doesn't need a heater!
"I so don't understand" Or "That's so not me."
"If you will..." (trying to sound hoity-toity & just wasting words)
In about 15 minutes from now. From when else?
Incidences, meaning "incidents"
Including-in
Inherit as a transitive verb, as in "he inherited his children."
Though, I guess, if you can say "He disinherited them," maybe it's ok!
IRA Account
Irregardless
Its vs It's or vice-versa
It's about... or I'm all about...
The animal or car "Jaguar" pronounced as "jag-wire"
"Journal" as a verb ("I journaled that.")
"Judy-ism" pronunciation of "Judaism." It's named after "Judah," so "Juda-ism."
Something is key (as opposed to "the" key)
Laxadaisical
Lay down, vs Lie
Legitimatize
Less people (Fewer)
A Light-Year is the same length of time as an Earth year. Light
year is a measure of distance, as is a parsec (viz: Star Wars "I made
the Kessel run in only 8 parsecs)
Lighten-ing-Fast
Like vs As "Winston tastes good, as a cigarette should!
Lit vs Lighted
"Love Ya," instead of "I Love You" or "God Bless," as another "no risk" salutation, instead of "God bless YOU."
Media is the plural, some use it as singular, as in "use this media."
Methodology, when meaning "method." "Methodology" means "study of methods."
Miss-cheevie-ous
Moment or Point in Time
Mo-mento
More Complete - doesn't exist: A thing is either complete or it's not. There are no degrees of completeness, such as
"partially complete."
Similarly, Most or More Unique - Unique means "one of a kind," so it's a binary state with no degrees.
New & Improved (can't be both)
"Newmonic" instead of mnemonic
No-brainer
Not Hardly
Nu-cu-lar (G.W. Bush is the most recent mis-user)
Adding "-ology" to sound scientific, e.g. Propology, and switchology (which actually could exist as a subset of ergonomics).
The Original Crowd - An oxymoron (Dr. Pepper commercial)
Pastored or pastoring
Per-cu-lating instead of percolating
Phenomena is the plural, some use it as singular. What's next, "phenomenases?"
Physical Year - should be "fiscal"
PIN Number - PIN is "Personal ID Number" so it's just "PIN."
"Plus" "ultra" or now, "X-" or Ex-" or "Extreme." When
everything's "Ultra" or "Extreme," that becomes the new standard and
nothing is "extreme." These are Worthless words when used to
imply improvements not present. Sort of like "new & improved"
(can't be both!)
"Teaspoonfuls" or "Pocketfuls." The latter actually appeared in Newsweek! Should be "pockets full."
Possessive for plural, such as use of " ' " for plural (e.g. sign's),
Power of Attorneys vs Powers of Attorney
Presently, meaning right now... Should be "at present." "Presently" really means "soon."
Principal when meaning principle, or vice-versa.
PSA Announcement - PSA stands for "Public Service Announcement," so that would mean "Public Service Announcement Announcement."
Pun-dint vs Pundit
RAM memory
He, she or it is "The Real Deal"
To Rec-reate = having fun
Root cause - redundant
SAM missile
Same Difference
"She's very self-aware of herself." Richard Roeper 12/05
"Set" to mean "sit"
"Sheriff" when they mean "Deputy..." there's one sheriff, many deputies.
Singularly, to mean singly
"Situation" or "event," e.g. "a rain situation or "this war event"
"Special" person... everyone's special, one way or another!
Strateegery
Subsiderary
Sum total - redundant.
They "summited" the mountain
System... now everything's gotta be a system or "engineered." The latter is especially funny, as it implies something is made
cheaper than it needs to be.
Tenet pronounced as "tenant"
Time period
The year "Two Thousand AND Two"
Utilization or utilize vs use or use
VA Administration
Valuating vs Evaluating
VIN number
Visa-versa
Vortice as singular of vortices - Should be "vortex"
To "watchdog" something
Way, shape or form
What-everrrr!
What-Have-You
Whoo-ing, instead of just applauding
Win-Win or lose-lose situation
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Style or Fashion:
Music has to be everywhere, esp. outdoors and too-loud in restaurants.
Backwards Hats (except on welders & baseball catchers)...
Sideways or 45 Degree Hats on anyone not a puppet or over age or IQ of 2
Pure-bred Animals, esp. if offspring bred to Parents
"Profession" Names:
Archer, Brewer, Chandler, Fisher, Fletcher, Harper, Hunter, Mason, Parker, Piper, Porter, Sawyer, Tanner, Taylor, Tucker, Tyler
Official Cheer o' the Masses... Used to be "Oww!" now it's "Whooo!"
even to distinguished speakers during their speeches. Silence or
polite applause would be more respectful & appropriate.
*****************
Political Propaganda:
Fear o' the Week (e.g. Global Warming) and Boogeyman o' the Week... and always: "the Chillllldren!"
Diverrrrrsityyyy
The Clintons (except maybe Socks (tm), whom they gave away, or Chelsea, whom they should)
"Prophylaxis," which is really mass killing, even genocide.
Media:
"That's Next..." really isn't... A whole bunch of commercials is really what's "next"
Too-Loud and unceasing background music during shows and commercials...
and in restaurants, even stores and restrooms for that matter.
Blasting Commercials, esp. with some high-voiced guy yelling - More
points off if he starts by yelling "Listen Up!" Or "Hey San Diego" or
whatever city you're in.
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Habits & Social Trends:
E-Potatoes who won't write a real email or answer questions in yours.
They only mass-forward emails that end with "If you break the chain you
will have bad luck for... " They also leave the old
addresses of every one of the 1000s of poor schlubs who had to delete
the sophomoric email before you got it.
Fears ruling one's life, e.g.: Driving in the middle or left lane
of a highway no matter how slowly they go. They usually drive a
Volvos or diesel Mercedes. Hence the saying: "Empty
as a Volvo Driver's Head."
Leaf Blowers:
a) Make too much noise too early and for too long;
b) Blow YOUR trash onto MY property or car.
Smoking & other "enslaving" habits
Wasting food, esp. by throwing it away on the artificially derived "expiration date" even if it's still good.
Playing the car radio to the exclusion of safety or in a way which
over-excites the driver (road rage). Especially playing it loudly
on crappy or blown speakers. Note that these drivers keep their
windows down no matter how cold or rainy it is.
Displaced anger (unfairly targeting someone when the real basis of anger is elswhere)
Ending an argument prematurely by abruptly leaving. People do this to get the last word, weak as it might be.
Overuse of "God bless America" at end of speeches.
Women with a high thigh friction index... approaching 100%.
"Rough" hi-beat music behind traffic reports & other insignificant
events... to keep you excited about the unexciting.
All seem to have a beat that goes "boom-chicka, boom-chick."
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Hey... What are your peeves?
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Updated: October 25, 2007
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